I received an email recently from my child's school that outlined if they had 100% attendance then they would regularly be put into a prize draw for different prizes the school would be offering over the course of the academic year. While I understand that this is mainly aimed at getting children into school who wouldn’t ordinarily attend, it got me thinking about the narratives being given to children when they are genuinely unwell and how this might impact how we approach health and illness as adults.
From the moment we are born, we are constantly absorbing information from the world around us. For many of us, the way we understand and approach health and illness as adults can be traced back to the narratives we were given in childhood. These early lessons, whether they came from our parents, teachers, or culture, play a profound role in shaping our attitudes, beliefs, and behaviours around well-being.
“It’s just a cold, stop complaining” or “Just go to school and push through and see how you feel later”
Do these sound familiar? As children, we learn through stories such as explicit tales our parents tell us, or from more subtle messages we pick up from the way the adults in our lives react to illness. We may be taught that illness is something to fear and avoid at all costs, or it may have been framed as a natural part of life? We may have been encouraged to "tough it out" when we got sick, or we were taken seriously and cared for with compassion?
For instance, a child who grows up hearing phrases like those above may learn to minimize their symptoms and push through discomfort as an adult, potentially ignoring serious signs of illness. On the other hand, a child raised in a household where every sneeze led to anxiety and immediate medical attention might develop an excessive fear of illness, leading to health anxiety.
In many cultures, especially those that value stoicism or resilience, children are taught to view illness as a weakness. Catching a cold, experiencing pain, or needing rest might be seen as a sign of failure or vulnerability. This narrative often leads to the glorification of pushing through sickness — the "health hero" narrative.
As adults, people who internalize this mindset may be more likely to dismiss their health needs, avoid seeking medical help, or feel ashamed of being sick. They may prioritize work and responsibilities over their own well-being, leading to burnout or chronic health issues. This pressure to “be strong” or “tough it out” can prevent people from taking the time they need to rest, recover, and heal properly.
On the other side, some children are raised in environments where illness is seen as a constant threat, and they are sheltered from anything that might make them sick. This can lead to anxiety around health in adulthood. If a child is taught that germs are dangerous or that any sign of sickness must be immediately addressed with medical intervention, they may grow up hyper-aware of their health, often feeling anxious about potential illnesses.
Adults who grew up with this narrative might be more prone to frequent doctor visits, excessive worry about minor symptoms, or even health-avoidant behaviours where they avoid environments or activities that they fear might make them ill.
One of the more positive narratives that can shape adult attitudes is the importance of empathy and caregiving in times of illness. Children who grow up in environments where sickness is met with compassion and care — rather than fear, annoyance, or neglect — often carry this empathy into adulthood.
These adults may be more likely to seek care when needed, approach illness with a balanced attitude, and offer genuine support to others who are sick. They may also have healthier relationships with rest, knowing that taking time to recover isn’t a sign of weakness but of self-respect and responsibility.
So, how do we rewrite/change these narratives. Recognizing the impact of childhood narratives on our adult attitudes towards health and illness can be incredibly liberating. Once we understand the origins of our health behaviours, we can begin to rewrite these scripts. For example:
Challenge the “tough it out” narrative by recognizing when your body needs rest and allowing yourself the space to heal without guilt.
Manage health anxiety by seeking a balanced understanding of sickness and working with a healthcare professional to address your concerns in a healthy way.
Reframe body image by focusing on how you feel rather than how you look, emphasizing functional health over appearance.
We all have the power to question the stories we were told and decide which ones to keep and which ones to let go of. By doing so, we can cultivate healthier, more compassionate attitudes toward ourselves and others when it comes to health and illness.
In conclusion, the narratives we are given as children about health and sickness are often internalized in ways we may not even realize. These stories shape our beliefs about what it means to be sick, how we should take care of ourselves, and how we respond to others in need. By reflecting on these early influences and consciously reshaping our perspectives, we can foster a more balanced, informed, and compassionate approach to health as adults.
